How selfish am I
To think only of myself
When he is the one
Who really suffered
While I only watched
And could do nothing
He kept saying, "I'm sorry"
I am sorry
Sorry I could not
Make you well
Sorry I could not
Lift you out of pain
So cancer took
Another victim
And all I could do
Was watch
Helpless -- even now
I am sending my love
Out and hoping it
Falls near your soul
How selfish am I?
You have gone on a journey
Without me
And we used to do
Everything together
Except this time
I was not able to
Be beside you on the trip
Just part of the way -- for now
©April 2, 2025
Diane E. Dockum
grief
Cardinalis cardinalis
A cardinal came to visit me He brought his little wife His bright red feathers tickled me And brightened up my life I’d been alone for quite some time Was missing you today I watched this little couple Flit about and dance and play It made me smile and shed a tear To see their tufted heads So sweet their partnership was clear Their song from beaks of red Though the rain was coming down They seemed happy as could be And I was thrilled that they had flown And landed in my tree By Diane E. Dockum ©April 25, 2023
Some Days
Some days
it's hard to move
to get out of bed
to open the curtains
Some days
the promise of coffee
or a shower
is reason enough
Some days
I don't bother to wear make-up
or shower
and put off getting dressed
Some days
are too much trouble
are too quiet and lonely
but the idea of going out is unthinkable
Some days
I look at old photographs
to convince myself
you were really here, with me.
Some days
I hope I will see you again
I hope we recognize each other
Some day
by Diane E. Dockum
©April 15, 2023
Photo by Diane E. Dockum
Unmoored
I am alive
So they say
Yet it is up for debate
It is true
That I feel like
A hollow log
Floating unmoored
Down a river
Spinning
Turning
Bumping against waves
And other debris
Flotsam and jetsam
In the gin weeds
and pucker brush
Perhaps one day
I will drift ashore
On the other side
copyright by Diane E. Dockum
March 15, 2023
In a Cemetery
I walk among the stones Imagining my body lying Beneath the ground I walk among the stones Wondering where to bury your ashes I am here to buy the ground Our bodies will lie under Side by side Urn by urn To add another stone marker Here in the quiet field where who knows what went on in ancient times I walk and open my spirit To feel the pull To feel the answer I walk and open my heart I think of sleep I think of eternity I think of earthly remains I find our spot I sign the papers Here we will be Maybe remembered By Diane E. Dockum ©September 26, 2022
Seventh Month
Rolled over for a cuddle Forgot I was a widow Swear I felt you Get in bed last night Could almost hear you breathing But then the sun came up Only to expose the pile of pillows On your side of the bed
The sun has come and gone Thirteen times this week The sound in my ears Is the vibration of the earth In the quiet of the day It reaches a high pitch When darkness comes And I pull the curtains closed
Today the frozen rain Hits my windows hard I try not to eat too much But wander from room to room Without getting anything done Your closet is still full of shirts I cannot bear to pack And dust is gathered in your shoes
You’re never coming back Oh, by the way I eat in the kitchen now Instead of the living room sofa Watching television It makes me feel like a person With a place mat and silverware In the correct places January 9, 2022 ©Diane E. Dockum
Marble Hill Press 