There is so much more to Grief

When your Husband dies

Sad and lonely, yes

But Grief is so much more besides

Not wanting to go home

Because home was a person

Not a house

Wandering restlessly around your 

House as if you were searching for

Something lost, but not sure what it is

Having all kinds of free time

But no interest in your hobbies

No desire to finish that book

No interest in those TV shows

Turning on the TV or Radio just

Because you can’t stand the silence

Turning off the TV or Radio

Because you cannot stand the noise

Having no interest in cooking

A real meal for yourself

Filling your empty place with 

This and that from the fridge

Faking interest in topics

That no longer relate in some way

To the love you have lost

Losing an entire day

To nothing but looking at hundreds of 

Pictures and reading cards you exchanged

Over and over

Replaying conversations in your head

Reliving those last few precious moments

And desperately wanting to 

Be sure they knew just how much they meant to you

It is changes in your body –

Finding gobs of hair in the shower

Feeling aches in your joints and muscles

Including your heart

It is staying up till tomorrow 

Resisting sleep trying to figure out

Who you even are now

And what the point of anything is

It is feeling stuck

In a deep dark well

And no one knows

Where you are.

©Diane E. Dockum

June 28, 2022