April 29, 2015

Revision of a previous poem:

I belong to a writer’s group, which meets to discuss our writing, give and get constructive criticism and encouragement. At our last meeting I read a poem which I recently posted on this blog. It was suggested that I shorten it to make it stronger. I have worked to revise this poem. I hope it is a better, stronger image. If you have suggestions about writing, please feel free to leave a comment.

Let Darkness Fall II

Let the sun go down

Let the shadows crawl across the lawn

As the supper dishes are washed

Let the kitchen go black

Let the bedclothes be turned back

And the teeth be cleaned

Let the quiet weave its way

Through the house, and the lamps be lit

Let the curtains be closed

As the street lights come on

And the bats fly out of the vacant house

On the corner lot four houses down

Let the bank and the post office

Sit in the dark, and the phones

Go unanswered

Let sleep come, give in

And let dreams sort the day

Let darkness fall

 

©Diane E. Dockum, 2015